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Echoes of a Mother’s Wisdom
Growing up in South Texas, I never really worried about style. Rather than obsess about the 80’s homage to parachute pants and crimped hair, my small family worried about whether there would be food on the table and, quite frankly, whether there would even be a table at which my mother and I could eat. Despite an abundance of neon scrunchies around me, life, at times, looked bleak.
My mother, on the other hand, was always sure that good things and good times were around the next corner or, at worst, the corner after that. We had to work hard, pray and wait. God willing, hardships would soften; Life would change. If it didn’t, she’d say, “Eat a tortilla; you’ll feel better.”
It’s a philosophy, even if I didn’t know it at the time, which has shaped my life and career. Progressing from selling encyclopedias door to door to put myself through college to running my own marketing and research firm was not an easy—nor carefully crafted—strategy. Now, as the author of two books – including You’ve Come a Long Way, Maybe: Sarah, Michelle, Hillary, and the Shaping of the New American Woman – I look back on how things have turned out and appreciate the journey.
Fifteen years ago when I first arrived in Washington—as a classic fish out of water down to my black cowboy boots—it was hard for someone of my ethnicity to fit into a hyper-educated political arena, especially as a woman and as a Republican.
I joined a small network of other Latinas and women of color who worked hard to refine our style and don our power uniform: bob haircuts, tailored shirts and bright (often ill-fitting) blazers. We would frequent the upscale salons in Georgetown and ask for “golden highlights,” hoping we’d emulate J-Lo. Instead we reeked of Mimi on “The Drew Carey Show.” As I recall in my latest book we’d sit around asking each other “Who did your hair?” which was more often than not followed by a whispered “Because you look so chola.”
It was not a compliment.
So legions of young women were running around Capitol Hill trying to look like we belonged there, in clothes that were not just age-inappropriate but unflattering. We nurtured each other through this time in our lives—and the older ethnic women who mentored us nurtured us, too. When I did not agree with the Republican “establishment,” friends and colleagues helped me find my own voice and pathway to add value to a party system I desperately tried to fit into.
Being a political neophyte is tough enough. Learning the culture in Washington only adds to that burden, especially when the cultural norms appear contrary to your own.
I’m sure this is an experience that crosses party, ethnic, and educational lines. This knowledge helped me to understand that I was not alone in my perception that some men in the political world, and even some women, find a strong, smart, ambitious woman threatening and distasteful.
But, slowly, through the good advice and wise counsel of warm, nurturing people, we learned to navigate the ropes of Washington and make the connections we needed to succeed. We learned our craft so we could make careers for ourselves.
Times, and people, have changed since then. We’ve witnessed the first Hispanic woman elected to Congress (Rep.Ileana Ros-Lehtinen) and, more recently, the confirmation of the first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice, Sonia Sotomayor. Countless other ethnic women have made significant strides and carved a path to help other young women navigate national politics…and life.
Being the new girl in town was tough enough and frightening. But the values and optimistic outlook I learned from my Mom kept me in good stead. Each year brings about a celebration of new women who can focus on selling the substance of what they have to offer, as well as embrace their own unique style that makes it believable. And that, my friends, is progress.
By Leslie Sanchez
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